Caring Hearts A ministry to those who have experienced the loss of a child through miscarriage, stillbirth or early infant death. If you or someone you know has experienced the loss of a child, please contact the family ministry office at 770.641.5623, or email Cindy Freemyer.
For information on how you can respond to someone who has experienced the loss of a child, here are some helpful insights.
In our struggles with our grief, it may be hard for us to:
- Cope with feelings of guilt, anger, and jealously
- Sharing family celebrations
- Needing to make major decisions
- Seeing babies/children the same age our child would have been
- Understanding our many emotions and feeling emotionally balanced
- Feeling different and subsequently feeling isolated
- Dealing with physical symptoms that arise due to grieving
- Deciding what to do with our baby's belongings
- Dealing with normal daily functions due to lack of energy
Things NOT to say:
- You'll have another baby
- It was just a miscarriage- it's better because you didn't feel the baby move
- The baby was probably deformed
- The baby is in a better place
- You exercised too much- maybe you didn't eat enough beef , pork, etc.
- You shouldn't be angry
- God may be punishing you
- You need to get over this. You have felt this way too long
- Is there sin in your life?
- I know just how you feel (even though you have never had a miscarriage, stillbirth)
- There are others whose sufferings are worse
- In time you'll forget
- You'll grow from this
- Don't talk of God's character of Goodness (it doesn't "feel" good)
Things to do or say:
- Visit them-bring them a gift: Ballons, a meal, flowers to plant, keep their children
- Send a memorial in memory of the child
- Let them talk-be a good listener/hugger/compassionate
- Go with her to do errands or grocery shopping (it's hard to face the world when emotions fall apart without warning)
- Be prepared for her to cry
- Ask if they named the baby-refer to them by name
- Mark the date on your calendar-and send a card on the due date or 1 year anniversary