Family Ministry Counseling - Family  Brief articles answering questions on family matters and parenting. Authored by Director of Counseling and Support Ministries, Dee Goar.

We are coming to the end of the school year with all the hustle and bustle of end of the year parties, soccer and baseball banquets, recitals, graduations, weddings, preparation for camp... on and on. A common response is a sense of overload.

We can easily feel pulled apart by the demands of our family and our culture. To slip out from under this overload will be like swimming up stream. We must DETERMINE to have lives that are well lived.

How can we develop a better plan for next year? First, look at Jesus. He had busy days, but his life was never hectic. Even when people “needed” him he took time to slip away and be with his Father. (Mark 1:21-39). He set priorities and did not let the demands of his followers or his culture pull him out of balance. We, too, need time to withdraw and refresh ourselves. SCHEDULE some quiet times with your Heavenly Father. SCHEDULE time just to enjoy a good book, or walk in your garden or a nearby park. (Moms and dads can do this, be creative.) Minister and parent from your overflow, not your reserves. It helps to think of ourselves as containers with only so much to give. We pour a little here and a little there and before we know it the pitcher is empty. Make sure you take time to keep your pitcher full and minister from the overflow.

Everyday life must be lived against the backdrop of eternity. Remember we’re just passing through. In light of eternity will it really matter if... I miss this meeting... this doesn’t get done... he misses this birthday party... she doesn’t take flute lessons this year??? Who will die if I don’t do this? God will still be in heaven and I’ll still be here, and He surely will forgive me for not being perfect.

Learn to say NO firmly and politely to things you simply don’t have time to do, or things that don’t fit into your priorities. Encourage your children to choose only one sport or only one extracurricular activity at a time. It will teach them how to have a less complicated life and will cut down on your driving time and general overload.

Evaluate your expectations of yourself... are they realistic? Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. We simply expect that we can do it all without taking a toll on us and on our most important relationships. Remember that ANY success in changing our patterns is success.